Quartermaster's Store
"The Quartermaster's Store" is a traditional song from England. The origins of both tune and words are uncertain. It was sung by British and ANZAC soldiers during World War I, but probably earlier as well. In those World War I armies, the quartermaster's department was responsible for stores and supplies. The song lists its supposed characteristics, many of them slovenly or unhygienic.
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Lyrics
There are rats, rats, as big as alley cats,
In the store, in the store.
There are rats, rats, as big as alley cats,
In the Quartermaster's store.
CHORUS
My eyes are dim, I can not see.
I have not brought my specs with me. [Repeat.]
Mice . . . running through the rice.
Beans . . . as big as submarines.
Gravy . . . enough to float the Navy.
Chips . . . as big as battleships
Cakes . . . that give us tummy aches.
Butter . . . running in the gutter.
Bread . . . with great big lumps like lead.
Cheese . . . that makes you want to sneeze.
Goats . . . eating all the oats
Bees . . . with little knobby knees.
Owls . . . shredding paper towels.
Apes . . . eating all the grapes.
Foxes . . . stuffed in little boxes.
Coke . . . enough to make you choke.
Pepsi . . . that gives you apoplexy.
Flies . . . swarming 'round the pies.
Fishes . . . washing all the dishes.
Moths . . . eating through the cloths
Scouts . . . eating brussel sprouts.